This post is about the importance of married people having friends both individually and severally.And especially couple friends.
Married Couples Need Their Own Friends
Married couples need their own friends.Yes that is very very true.For before you met your spouse you had your own life and your friends.Just because you are now married does not mean that you stop seeing your old friends giving the excuse that “You are so so busy”
Married Woman Do Not Isolate Thyself
By friends I mean having friends of both genders, for a true healthy relationship.Just because you are now married does not mean you the wife shut out your school or college male friend(s) with whom you shared beautiful fun-filled memories together .
Or expect your hubby not to call or keep in touch with his female friend(s) who were an important part of his life long before you came into the picture.Yes you are an important part of your spouse’s life but you are not the whole and sole.
Don’t expect your spouse’s life to revolve around you and you only as if you are the main character in her movie and everything revolves around you.
Your spouse has other aspects of her life in which you are not required and if you are wise,you will understand that.
One of these aspects is his/her group of friends either same or cross sex.
Its fine if you are invited to become part of the group sometimes as a guest but you are not a regular member,as you do not share their history.
I will give a personal example here.I have a group of female school friends with whom I get along very well.We chat as a group on whats app and should a friend from abroad happen to visit my home town,we the home town friends arrange to go for a meal together.The friend is very happy to meet her former school friends of both sexes and the spouse is not missed at all.
This is her time with her friends so let it be.
His Or Hers Single Friend(s) Gives Me The Jitters
Many couples feel comfortable having other couples as friends as they somehow feel more secure rather than having singles as friends especially of the opposite sex.
Sometimes spouses even though they are liberal in thought,are uncomfortable when they see their partners with friends of the opposite sex.Even though its just two good friends having a laugh and spending some good time together and nothing more.
Still care must be taken by the spouse who has a good relation with a cross sex friend that he/she takes into consideration his/her spouse’s misgivings, and makes sure that his/her actions do not send the wrong signals.
Are Opposite Sex Friends Okay If You Are Married
Married Couples Need Married Friends
Apart from each spouse having their own separate friends who were a part of their lives before their marriage.And cannot be just thrown away like yesterday’s newspaper just because their friend is married,married couples need other married couples as friends.
This is because situations will arise in the marriage where single people cannot offer the best advise as they are not in the same boat.But other married couples who are friends to both spouses and possibly more experienced can offer more constructive advise.
We all need advise from a good friend in different situations.One type of friend cannot offer solutions to every situation.That’s why you need a variety of friends of both sexes for the different situations that may arise.
Why Married Couples Need Married Friends
Marriage Is Based On Trust
Why I say this is that marriage like any other relationship is based on trust.
And if you trust your spouse fully why should you feel threatened by the friends of your spouse of the opposite sex?
Yes from what I have said above,spouses do need to take care that the friendships they share with members of the opposite sex are fully understood by their spouses.
And even among couples friends affairs are known to start between two married couples.
Marriage is a choice you made and you chose your spouse over other men or women.
When you you took your vows you promised to love,trust and be faithful to each other through all the storms of your lives.
You are a major part of your spouses`s life but it does not mean that you and you alone are their world.In fact its not healthy at all to have such feelings.
Each spouse needs their own space.Its very very important
You see you and your spouse share a beautiful, wonderful loving relationship together but you are not Friends in the actual sense of the word.
Married couples are two different wonderful loving couples who are madly in love and deeply care about each other and their children if any.
But each needs from time to time to be with people other than the spouse.Be it him with his mates out doing things the Boys love.Or her with her Girlfriends having a girls night out or day out.
Or either of them with a mixture of both male and female friends from school or college recapturing the good old times.
I will end with what a very good friend of mine once said to me about himself and his spouse.
She has her friends,I have my friends and We have a common group of friends
The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work
Couples In Crisis-Overcoming Affairs And Opposite Sex Friendships